Well, I don't have any pictures to share today. Only a few words. The last couple of days I have gotten into the swing of things a little bit more. I have busied my self with making grocery trips or errands for E, making meals, doing laundry, reading books (I am on my third for this week!), reading the bible, and being there for E.
For any of you who don't know, E has this quirky little superstition that 23 is bad for him. He claims that on the 23rd of every month something bad happens. Well, June 23rd 2014 was no different. He got some bad news in class that really made him feel discouraged. It broke my heart that there was really nothing I could do to fix it. But it made me very thankful that I was here, even if all I could do was give him a hug. The next few days have been much better for him.
Watching E go through this gave me a whole new perspective on this time in our lives. Sometimes this experience leaves me drained. I start to feel used when I spend all day by myself and then E comes home and wants me to do things for him. He doesn't always ask me, but I do things for him because I want to. Sometimes I do these things selfishly, thinking that if I do things for him, he will want to return the favor. Only there never seems to be time or energy left at the end of the day for him to go out of his way to do things for me. This made me easily irritated. I cracked at every note of sarcasm or gentle joking. I'm embarrassed to say that I almost started resenting him. When he had that bad day it opened my eyes. E has more pressure on him than I know. Classwork is really not his thing, and that is all he does some days. After spending some time thinking about it, and praying about it I knew that this time in our lives was about E needing me, which was just as good as him doing things for me. Both of us are very much so the kind of people who like to do things for ourselves, and we don't like to even allow people to help. It seems as though E has reached his breaking point and has opened up to letting me help him. Whether I research helpful study habits, make him dinner, or give him 10 minute back rubs between study sessions I know he appreciates it, even if he doesn't always admit it.
This bad day also made me realize how happy I should be that I'm even here. Even though some days the only time I get to spend with E is when we go to bed, it's more time than I would have had with him had I not come along. I know that if I had stayed in Minnesota, I would have given anything to have had 5 minutes with E. I also thought about how thankful I was that I could be here for his bad day. As helpless as I felt, I would have felt more helpless if I had not been here.
That's enough of the thoughtful stuff, though. Yesterday E woke up very early and did land navigation courses. He came back around 0900 and reported he had been bitten by a snake! (He passed, by the way! WOO!!) I couldn't help but think about the river float the other day and everyone being so scared of the snakes, only to have E get bitten by one in the dark! When he showed me the bite, you really could only see one tiny spec, and then the area was kinda rough like he had goosebumps. I'm still a little uneasy that he didn't at least have someone check it out, but that's just the girl in me I suppose. E said someone else got bit by a spider in the dark because he walked into the web. Supposedly that person's neck swelled, but the swelling went down and he was fine. I'm not going to lie to you, I was a little bit nervous about this whole land navigation thing. I'd heard stories already of people breaking their legs during this course due to uneven ground and the like. So I was pretty thankful that E came out alive ;)
Yesterday I spent most of the day out on the hammock in front of our building. People were everywhere! E guessed that it was a family day event, and maybe a graduation ceremony too. I saw a big critter that might have been a groundhog, AND there was a birds nest right above where I was swinging!
The rest of the evening I read while E studied. Today he takes a test. I'm praying for him.
That's all for now! I'll be back :)
No comments:
Post a Comment